I may not be an expert on parenting as a whole but I am when it comes to my own. Here’s what I know for sure and with any luck there be something in my sharing for you and your family.
1. To be the best parent, partner, woman and human being I could be, I hired myself a coach, a mentor to help me weed out the ugh in my mind that often gets in the way of me redesigning the old structure of parenting into something I can feel good about each and every day I walked this earth. My coach is why I became a life coach. She taught me a new way of looking at the old way and with that, the journey began…
2. I don’t punish I teach my children. Again, out with the old in with the new. I didn’t find putting my kids in corners or time-outs worked. It just made them feel separated and when the crap hits the fan, I believe they need connection more than disconnection, so I hug instead…and I get still…and most importantly, I listen.
3. I walk beside my children. Oh boy, is that hard at times but it works. If I tug, they go silent, distant or take on some form of denial. So I stay with them and get curious. Sometimes just my silence and my love is enough for them to open up….and even then, I wait till they’re ready. I had to realize their moods aren’t about me, so I breathe…and wait, breathe and wait.
4. Chores, now that’s a biggy. I hear parents complain about this all the time. My latest trick is saying, “Hey, can I count on you to do xyz before we go to your soccer game? Otherwise mommy has to do it and then we will be late cause I’m already in the middle of something…”
5. Listen and listen with all your heart and soul. Drop everything your doing and just listen as if it was your favourite melody. Let their voice penetrate through your heart and just be present. It’s not about you even though it stings to see our children out of sorts. Just hold their words. Listen for the Q’s that talk about the loneliness, the sadness, the confusion, the worry…More often than not, they just want to be heard.