When I’m supporting clients who are working through parent energy, it’s my cue to sit back, listen deeply, and hold space for the discomfort that often surfaces. Whether it’s “mother energy” or “father energy,” these moments are sacred invitations—opportunities to heal old biological and emotional wounds.
We often give our parents a lot of grace. I hear many say, “They did the best they could,” and while that’s often true, it doesn’t erase the reality that our bodies may have absorbed unsafe, unspoken energy. Just because something wasn’t acknowledged at the time doesn’t mean it didn’t impact us.
When parents continue to disappoint us well into adulthood, it’s unfair—and often painful—to keep looking to them as the source of our healing. Most simply aren’t capable. And even those who try may still miss the mark, because no one will ever know what you need more than you do.
Parents can be tough customers. They can trigger our past, respond with defensiveness, or struggle to hear that they’re not our everything—often because they’ve never been their own everything. How could they offer what they’ve never truly received themselves?
The real work is to untangle your healing from their capacity. How can you find, care for, and love yourself so completely that you no longer wait for someone else—especially a parent—to fill in your missing pieces? That’s the path to wholeness.